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Monday, November 26, 2012

Wearing a Mask

a holiday where you get to dress up as something or someone else. A day you can put on a mask.

I was going through a few Halloween pictures from this year, when this thought occurred. Halloween is not the only time when we wear a mask, or dress up as something we are not.

This post has been sitting in 'Draft' for a couple of weeks now. A tad bit of hesitation keeping it from entering the blogosphere.

You put on a mask, acting like you have it all together, when you are really falling apart inside. Why would you want anyone to discover your life not as perfect as it seems? Anyone ever possess a similar feeling?

I admit to wearing a mask. There has been periods of my life, I could not share what was going on. I acted as if I was great, but He knew better. God could see my anger, frustration, and hurt. At church, around friends, I would put on the 'my life is perfect' mask. I was not fooling him. We try to disguise ourselves, even from God. We try hiding our shame or whatever it might be.

(Quick side note, a little off topic)
Hiding reminds me of Adam and Eve in the garden when they tried hiding from God, after they ate the forbidden fruit and they felt shame. God asked, "Adam, where are you?"

God asking? Have you ever thought of how funny that was? God. Who knows everything. Asking.
Of course, He knew where Adam was hiding. He was making a point. Their sin had separated them from God...
BUT Could you imagine how much more disgrace Adam would have felt if God had asked, "Adam, why are you hiding?" or He could have stated, "I know where you are.".... "Where are you?" sounds more loving and tender hearted. Can you hear the sweet tone in God's voice? Why do we ever try to hide from this kind of God?
(Just had to share that thought. Okay, back on topic)

There have been times I shuffled through masks. Had a different mask, from situation to situation. I would act one way in a certain group, and flop to another being in a another setting. The true self started to shine through the cracks. I found it exhausting pretending all the time. The wear and tear started to show. The mask finally fell off.

Allowing people to peer into the life we are truly living, can be painful. However, once I lost the mask, guess what was waiting for me on the other side? Freedom. Peace. Acceptance....and the realization that no one person's life is perfect.

Why do we do it? ...This topic relates to the one I wrote last month, pleasing people, and wanting acceptance. It is a constant worry "what will people think?"...I had to let it go. The people meant to be in your life will love and accept the real you. You know how I know this? I know my own mistakes, every fault, the true me and for years have still gone on loving me..and God continues to love me.

God sees through the mask. He can see right to our heart. He understands what is really going on inside. Hebrews 4:13

He knows the real you.

Psalm 139:1-4
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
This is an incredibly beautiful song and perfect for this topic.

No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.
-Nathaniel Hawthorne

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