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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Fuel.

I read somewhere a few months back that you can live without 
water and food
for so long, 
but it is impossible to live without 

Hope is what fuels me.
Hope is the reason I get out of bed every morning.
Hope is the thing I lean on when I hurt from the loss
of Grandma.
Hope is what I see when everything seems lost.
Hope is what pushes me to see beyond the 
suffering and despair.
Hope is the morning sun and knowing
it will rise every day,...
whether there are clouds or not.
Hope inspires me to look above this world.
Hope grows from the flowers that
I trust and know bloom every spring.
Hope is my strength.
Hope is knowing God put me on this Earth
for a reason.
Hope is my fuel.

God has given me an incredible amount of hope in my life,
especially over the past year.
I have had many ups and downs, twists and turns,
but all leading me to a life filled with 
Without hope, I would have been lost.

But the main point I am getting at is this..
my hope would  not exist without Him.
If God didn't dwell in me,
there would be no hope.

Without God's love and knowing how He sacrificed 
His one and only son for me..and for you,
I would have no hope,
no hope for a beautiful life,
no hope for love,
no hope for a life
beyond this world,
no hope for an eternity with Him.

That is where my hope ultimately lies.
In Him.

And just as surely as the promised rainbow after the storm,
I have a hope that endures.

1 Corinthians 15:19
If only in this life we have hope in Christ,
we are of all people most to be pitied.

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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

hope rising up.

la vita e bella.
life is beautiful, in italiano.

A whirlwind of a year it has been...
ups and downs,
loss and heartaches,
grief and hurt,
all great teachers
that have grown my faith.
I once heard that grief is the most powerful teacher,
whoever said this,
was right.
It is.

I thought I had already endured enough in the past
few years to create enough perseverance to
last a lifetime.
Man, was I wrong.

A couple of months ago 
I felt like my hope was slowly disappearing.
I find out my aunt has breast cancer.
4 weeks later I lose Grandma.
A month later Papaw scares me with a late night visit to the hospital.
Two weeks after that we almost lose my uncle.
It just seemed like my family couldn't get a break.
I didn't know if I would ever be 100% again. 
I was waking up thinking, "what will happen next?".
My joy that always felt so apparent 
was gone.

I was not the Aeron that everyone knew.
That God sees.

I honestly felt that I would only ever be 80% of who I once was.
Every now and then something great would happen,
but then I would remember all my sufferings..
how Grandma was gone,
and not coming back..
reliving the moment I lay beside her on the 
ground while she took her last breaths.
...This was my thought process.

My 100% was never going to happen.
I hated it.

But something clicked.
I started
To the right voice.
The one of 

I have stopped listening to the other voice,
the one telling me lies,
and started listening 
to Him.

His voice is so clear..
You are strong.
You are blessed.
You have so much to be thankful for.
You can and will be 100% again.

I believe it.
My joy will not only come back,
but be tenfold.

I feel it.

I have faith that He has a beautiful life ahead of me.
There is no promise there will be no more heartaches.
But I do know I will be stronger because of the trials I have faced.
...and I am grateful.

Hope is rising up in me.

Consider it pure joys, my brothers, when you face trials
of various kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith
produces perseverance.
Perseverance must finish your work 
so it is complete,
lacking in nothing.
James 1.2-4

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