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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Letting Go

I am a perfectionist.
It is my least favorite attribute.
It deters me from living.
Living fully.
I want my life to be perfect.
I have to plan it all out.
I have to be in full control.
What comes with wanting perfect is losing.
Losing myself.

I spend so much time worrying.
About how not perfect life is.
I lose it all together.
I carry this burden.
A burden to solve problems.
A burden to want others to desire God as much as I do.
I dream about it everyday.
About a perfect world.
One where everyone is happy.
Everything is rainbows and butterflies.
Then I wake up.
In an imperfect world.
Full of imperfect beings.
The burden lies there.
Pulling at every muscle in my body.
Weighing me down.
 Until I stand it no longer.
I fall to the ground.
Then it happens.
I am right where I should be.
On my knees.
My strength builds.
I stand back up.
My world is still there.
Not perfect.
But I smile anyway.
I let it go.
Because I let Him in.
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