Gone.

I know I sound like a broken record, but it is all I can think, it still seems unreal. I keep waiting for her to walk through the door.

This weekend was rough. Papaw was more down than ever, and it broke me to pieces. I felt helpless, knowing I cannot take away his pain. I watch him as he sets in a room full of people. 

Everything around him is moving, but he is stand still. 

The world is revolving but he is stopped in time.

I feel his pain.

I want her back.

It is that simple.

I wish I could say I understand.

I don’t.

I want God to give her back to us.

I find myself jealous of God and that He has her.

I miss her so.

Change is never fun…

but I am ready for the seasons to change. 

The cold keeps us inside and we can dwell and what was and now isn’t. 

I think of Joe on the movie Little Women, and how she tells Marmie, 

“I hate change..

Why can’t everything just stay the same?”

I know, Joe. Why can’t it?

I miss my childhood more than ever.