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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

What Lasts.



Where do I find my beauty?
Is it in my appearance?
Is it in my soul?
I tossed and turned in my sleep nights ago,
this thought wondering through my mind.

As a teen, I struggled with self esteem.
I constantly compared myself to the girl standing next to me on the cheer-leading squad.
I would measure my beauty to the school's homecoming queen.
I had to have the right hair cut, the perfect shade of blonde, the size 2.
I put too much time and thought into my appearance.
I still do.
I am a lot more comfortable in my skin than 5 years ago.
I spend a lot less time getting ready in the morning, than my regular 2 hours 
back in high school.
No joke.
I learned that if I focused more on my appearance than my heart,
that is all others would see.
That is all I would see of myself.
I don't want to be seen as just a face.
I want to be loved for my heart.
Because one day when I am old and wrinkled,
when the blonde hair has turned to gray,
that is all there will be.
Will I still be loved years from now,
when the looks have faded?

Someone once said, "..do you spend more time in the morning 
getting your spiritual self  prepared or your physical self?".
....
I might not have it all together on the outside,
but I am working to invest more time in my spiritual self.
I wake up, roll over, and I make sure I am staring right at it..
My bible.
I lay it beside me every night before I close my eyes,
and place it on my pillow every day before I go.
So that when my head hits the pillow, it hits my bible first.
The first minutes of my day begins with it and so do the last.
I was told about this trick and trust me, it works.
Will I miss out some days? Of course.
I am in training,
always.

The one thing I know,
and have seen, through my own grandparents..
is that they have true beauty.
The beauty that lies within.
It is what I adore, what God adores.
Hearts that give,
that serve.
Their's is the spiritual beauty I desire.

I want to yearn for what lasts.
Is it not the soul that lasts?
Everything else turns to dust.
I hear it said at every funeral.
The body
....ashes to ashes.
...and dust to dust.

I am glad to have discovered what lasts.

1 Peter 3:4
But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart,
with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit,
which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.

4 comments:

  1. this is amazing!
    I LOVE this, "..do you spend more time in the morning
    getting your spiritual self prepared or your physical self?"

    you're such an awesome writer. i miss your face too!

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  2. such a beautiful post! i stumbled across your blog today and am so glad that i did! so encouraged and inspired by your sincere heart and faith. i am in the process of training for my first half marathon so have been especially blessed by your "running" posts." (i actually run to the"young and beautiful" song sometimes! :)) bless you sweet girl. xo.
    katie

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    Replies
    1. Katie, your encouraging words touch my heart. Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed my running posts. Good luck on your first half marathon!

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