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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

What Lasts.

Where do I find my beauty?
Is it in my appearance?
Is it in my soul?
I tossed and turned in my sleep nights ago,
this thought wondering through my mind.

As a teen, I struggled with self esteem.
I constantly compared myself to the girl standing next to me on the cheer-leading squad.
I would measure my beauty to the school's homecoming queen.
I had to have the right hair cut, the perfect shade of blonde, the size 2.
I put too much time and thought into my appearance.
I still do.
I am a lot more comfortable in my skin than 5 years ago.
I spend a lot less time getting ready in the morning, than my regular 2 hours 
back in high school.
No joke.
I learned that if I focused more on my appearance than my heart,
that is all others would see.
That is all I would see of myself.
I don't want to be seen as just a face.
I want to be loved for my heart.
Because one day when I am old and wrinkled,
when the blonde hair has turned to gray,
that is all there will be.
Will I still be loved years from now,
when the looks have faded?

Someone once said, " you spend more time in the morning 
getting your spiritual self  prepared or your physical self?".
I might not have it all together on the outside,
but I am working to invest more time in my spiritual self.
I wake up, roll over, and I make sure I am staring right at it..
My bible.
I lay it beside me every night before I close my eyes,
and place it on my pillow every day before I go.
So that when my head hits the pillow, it hits my bible first.
The first minutes of my day begins with it and so do the last.
I was told about this trick and trust me, it works.
Will I miss out some days? Of course.
I am in training,

The one thing I know,
and have seen, through my own grandparents..
is that they have true beauty.
The beauty that lies within.
It is what I adore, what God adores.
Hearts that give,
that serve.
Their's is the spiritual beauty I desire.

I want to yearn for what lasts.
Is it not the soul that lasts?
Everything else turns to dust.
I hear it said at every funeral.
The body
....ashes to ashes.
...and dust to dust.

I am glad to have discovered what lasts.

1 Peter 3:4
But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart,
with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit,
which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.


  1. this is amazing!
    I LOVE this, " you spend more time in the morning
    getting your spiritual self prepared or your physical self?"

    you're such an awesome writer. i miss your face too!

  2. such a beautiful post! i stumbled across your blog today and am so glad that i did! so encouraged and inspired by your sincere heart and faith. i am in the process of training for my first half marathon so have been especially blessed by your "running" posts." (i actually run to the"young and beautiful" song sometimes! :)) bless you sweet girl. xo.

    1. Katie, your encouraging words touch my heart. Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed my running posts. Good luck on your first half marathon!