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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Little Women

It was a white Christmas, one of those days to sit by the warm fire and dive into a book. But I decided to watch a movie instead...a nostalgic one, bringing back memories of my childhood.
Little women.
If you have never seen Little Women, (I prefer the Wynona Ryder version) it captures the lives of four sisters from childhood to womanhood. Like young girls do, their girlish selves long to be women one day, married, perhaps with careers or possessing great wealth. Time finds them, ten years later. And with that time, comes change. No longer shall they sit by the window of their playroom dreaming of what will become.Women they have became. I always relate to Jo March, the second oldest. Now Jo, the independent sister, ready to take on the world, finds herself longing and yearning for the days where their child ways belonged.
"Why should we marry at all? Why can't things just stay as they are?".

I find myself being taken over by The Peter Pan Syndrome, wanting things to stay as they were when I was a young girl. Playing on the beach with my mom, six years old, staring off into the blue ocean , without a care...

Christmas was bittersweet. Every year of my existence my mother's family spends the afternoon of Christmas at my grandparent's. As years have passed more have joined our huge family, but we have all grown up. The cousins I once played with in the mud, have families of their own now.
Then it hits me. 
I suddenly realize there will come a day when my family will no longer join together at my grandparent's house.
Then the part of the movie that once foreshadowed my future, strikes a nerve. Jo asks her mother with a saddened spirit, "Will we never all be together again?"
I suddenly want to rewind, not the movie. Rewind my life.
I thought of leaving today with the last statement...but how somber would that have been. Change is bittersweet. I do miss the carefree spirit of being a child, feeding the seagulls with my baby sister and having no worry of the next day.
Perhaps the reason these feelings of homesickness for childhood appeared to acknowledge a loss...loss of a child's faith.
Creeping away, was the embracement of such child-like faith, I have spoken of before...and I was being awakened.
I am taken over by the carefree spirit I see in the picture above of my sister and me feeding the seagulls on the sandy beach. I take a snapshot in my memory, trying hard to not let it vanish. Hoping that it captures with it, the mindset to always stay like a my faith.
Mark 10:15
"Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”


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