I Spread My Wings and Flew

"One day she decided to stop letting fear hold her back,

and chose to live bravely, from then on,

She flew."

I climbed in the little Cessna.

This was it,

the moment I was waiting for.

I steered the little single engine plane onto the runway.

I could not hear anything but my thoughts over the roaring engine.

I went over the checklist with the instructor.

...t-minus, 30 seconds until I would experience a feeling you only get once,

flying for the first time.

We started rolling down the runway,  I increased the throttle,

I pulled back on the yoke, easily,

I let the air take us from under the plane,

and before I knew it I was one with the skies.

I had a bird's eye view of the city.

It was the same place I had grown up in,

but never experienced from the air.

It was a completely different world.

I caught myself thinking while I was flying, "Wow,

I'm really flying a plane!".."this is crazy!"

Up in the air, I came across a few things....

1. Flying isn't as hard as people might think.

2. There's no traffic.

and 

3. Flying opened up a new chamber in my heart..

containing courage.

And if I ever come across anything the rest of my life, that I'm not sure I can do,

I will remember that day,

the day I flew..

and since He gave me the courage once, it will surely be there again.

If you would have told me when I was 16, "you are going to fly one day",

I would have laughed.

I didn't think it remotely possible.

I'm not the same girl I was then.

I have come to realized the incredible courage that God has bestowed in me,

in us all!

It is only because of Him that I finally spread my wings and flew.

I give Him the thanks.

So I encourage you to go after your dreams..

And

..."Until you spread your wings, you never know how far you'll fly!"

Perhaps there will be a day, we will all fly away...

You Raise Me Up.

I haven't written about my running in a while and thought I might do so.

If you would like to read my two favorite posts on what I gain from my runs, 

you can read them here and here. ...or click here for all my posts on running.

.....

Running is an outlet for me.

As my feet hit the pavement, my soul awakens.

I feel closer to God more than ever.

.....

I went for a run yesterday afternoon, boy was it hot.

Not July hot, but hot enough to break a sweat in the first mile.

I've been living the life of luxury going to the gym, having a nice air conditioner cool me down.

....

I have days when it feels like I have ran a marathon...in the first half mile.

Yesterday, was one of them.

My legs felt as if they weighed a ton, each,

but I kept on.

....

It is always a struggle at first, acclimating myself to the Texas heat.

It rolls around this time every year, I digress.. because I never know how long it will stay, sometimes deep into October.

I've gotten better over the years, learning that running a few days a week outside for the first couple of weeks of summer, will make me stronger and the acclimation a slow progression, as I like it.

....

It isn't always that way.

....

Some days like yesterday, hit hard, the sun beating down on me like a thousand fires,

depriving me of my fuel which feeds my legs.

I try to endure the sun,

or sometimes run to any shade I can find on the oil top roads.

It is usually accompanied by a small prayer, requesting a breeze or a cloud.

....

I was three miles in yesterday, and dreading the last one.

I was listening to my music and it came on,

I hope you have heard it.

"You Raise Me Up" Josh Groban.

If you haven't, please listen to this wonderful melody.

It is very thought provoking.

.....

...You Raise Me Up,

So I can stand on mountains,

You Raise Me Up,

to walk on stormy seas,

I am strong,

when I am on your shoulders,

You Raise Me Up,

to more than I can be.

.....

It sends chills down my arms every time.

....

Listening to the words, and not paying attention to my feet did me much good.

My head was in the clouds.

If felt as if He rose me up..and

each stride felt like I was flying.

I must have picked up the pace, for

I looked at my watch and realized it was the fastest mile of the day.

.....

Now back to the Sun, 

I believe God can and will provide the shade we need in life.

Or He might send a light breeze to cool us down.

If there seems none to be found, perhaps He knows we can survive the heat.

Or He sees it as a time of acclimation.

Exposing us to the heat,

so that we can be better equipped for the next run...

Romans 5:3-4

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 

and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,..

Life Is Messy.

She grins.

I melt.

I capture the moment.

A little freeze-frame.

She wears chocolate and ice cream all over her face.

It's a messy face.

Not at all clean and perfect,

but her beauty shines through it..

and that is all I truly see.

And so, life is the same..

a little messy at times, but beautiful no matter what.

Because I know

God sees through our chocolate-covered faces,

to the beauty in us all.

She Is.

She is the one who saw me first.

She was my first smile.

She showed me love first.

She was the first to hold me.

....

Why I Blog.

I was asked this question recently,

Why do I blog?

I blog for a lot of reasons.

I started blogging,

with the hope that my sharing my story

would inspire others.

I felt I was holding on to a story that was not meant to be hidden away.

It is a journey that must be shared.

God gave me this story.

And

I was not only choosing to let go of my story,

but the bitterness and hurt that went with it..

..It is a story that one day, I pray might help that one person out there..

I told myself, that even if I can inspire that one single person, my goal was achieved.

And I don't know if it has happened yet..

But I will keep on regardless.

I also keep blogging because of the encouragement I receive from the readers,

that's you.

Thank you,

sincerely.

And

It is because of you that I keep sharing my journey.

You are the reason, and no greater reason than that.

These words I write come from my heart.

This is all that I can offer,

the words from my soul.

You might tell me I have it all together, and I would laugh.

I do not claim to be perfect and this blog is not perfect.

But this is who I am, 

completely real.

No apologies.

God Loves You-From Jayden

Sunday was one of the best days for me. My heart was so full, I thought it might burst with overflowing joy.

Our church had a 'connect-reconnect' Sunday, where we had fellow Christians from other church buildings join us for service and worship.

Each 'church' (I use quotes because really we are all apart of ONE church family, we just happen to attend service at different buildings), but each church played a part in the service.

It was incredible to see that even though we have different ways of worship, it is really all the same.

We are all there to worship.

We are all a part of the body.

We all have the most important thing in common,

A Love for God.

At one point in the service, 

a member from the Hispanic church led one of my favorite songs, 

"How Great Thou Art" in Spanish, 

I did my very best to sing along, almost laughing at myself and my 

'spanish-singing' abilities.

....

But there is something about singing a song to God in a different language.

I hope you all get to experience it.

I also had a provoking thought..

It was okay that I was off tune, very off, and could not pronounce each syllable, 

I knew what the words meant.

For once I truly understood the art of pure worship, a bowing down of the heart.

We started singing the English version,

and collaborated with the Spanish version,

singing are parts together 

at the same time, 

as one.

I have never felt more moved in a song then at that very moment.

An emotion came over me that was uncontrollable.

I could not hold back the tears,

before the song was over 

tears were streaming down my face.

I felt one, with God, and the people around me who love Him.

Connect-reconnect had no better definition for me that day.

But

If I was not already emotional enough, 

the most precious boy from one of the other churches, 

turns around and hands me the sweetest drawing..

There is no purer heart than that of a child.

They speak the truth..

Jayden did not even know my name but he did know this..

I love the triangle house, it looks like I'm driving a Hummer too, haha.

Is this not precious?

He made me realize why I have always wanted a big family..

I hope to have about ten children just like Jayden one day!

Jayden made a good point,

God and Jesus do love me..

and He loves you too!

Romans 12:5

..So it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

I Had A Dream...(A little of My Story)

Here is a little of my story, only pieces and only the parts I can share..

All in a blink, my life changed.

The plans that I had for myself came undone. 

I would like to say I was okay, that losing a dream that seemed within reach was not hurtful. 

I would be lying.

Let us start back almost 6 years ago, the fall of my senior year.

Everyone was filling out college applications, applying for scholarships..

while I was waiting to tell my parents the big news that I was not going to college.

Nope, I wanted to join the Air Force.

That dream was shortly crushed..

My parents insisted I go to college, first.

So I did.

I go to college, only to experience some pretty life changing situations my first year.

I receive some shocking news about my physical self, news that will still effect my future.

I learned to keep living, and living to the full..

I ran my first half marathon that year.

And I came out from underneath some pretty deep pits and closer to God because of it.

Only, I had no idea at the time, that this situation of mine, would one day have a huge effect on my dream.

And turn my world completely upside down...

Two years into college I go to my parents with the same conversation.

Once again, they asked that I finish college, and instead go the Officer route.

Two years of college left, it felt eons away!

I grudgingly agreed.

I suddenly became infatuated with aviation,

longing to be a Pilot for the USAF.

The next two years I would spend countless hours preparing for OTS (Officer Training School).

Driving back and forth to Arlington, working with my AFR (Air Force Recruiter).

Taking the AFOQT (Air Force Officer Qualifying Test).

Which I failed the first time, but passed with flying colors the second.

You only get TWO times in your whole life to take the AFOQT, no third chances.

I eventually had all my ducks in a row 6 months before College graduation.

There was just one last step, my physical...

I felt confident.

My confidence was lost all too soon.

The Reflection In The Water.

It starts to storm,

making it hard to be still.

The waters are rushing all around.

The current pushes against me.

I try to stand my ground.

Everything possible fights for me to go under.

I fight to be still, while the storm is going on around me.

I look down.

I try to see my reflection in the water.

It's not there.

I close my eyes and pray.

When I open my eyes again, I look down and

instead I see something else...

Looking back at me.

Instead of my face,

I see His.

He whispers...

Let the waters be still.

Everything  around me grows calm

as I focus in on the reflection in the water.

Luke 8:24

He (Jesus) got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, 

and all was calm.

Childlike Faith.

It is the beauty of a child's faith and trust that I admire so.

He calls us to it.

He requires it.

I imagine myself running up to Him, jumping up in His lap and His big arms wrapping around me as a parent would to their child.

His hold on me is comforting.

I do not release.

He never lets me go.

Sometimes I jump down and run off, trying to discover the world alone.

But He is there watching me closely, like a parent.

I go to Him when I need comfort or help,

like a child I run back into His arms again.

And there He awaits, arms ready to hold me once again.

I discover trust and the faith of a child, in His hold.

He is my father.

I am his daughter.

Always.

Matthew 9:14

But Jesus said, 

"Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

Nerd Alert.

Is she not the cutest nerd you have ever seen?

I love nerds.

I love being a nerd.

 I am not super smart, but I would like to be!

It is a funny thing..

as soon as I finished school, I loved knowledge!

I enjoy discovering new things and cuddling up with a good read.

Perhaps because it is not forced and now my CHOICE.

Freewill.

God gave us this.

He does not force us to love Him.

What fun would that be?

He gave us Choice.

A beautiful thing,

to choose to love Him

and

choose to live for Him.

I want to be a nerd for God.

Proverbs 13:5

Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Theirs ears are open for knowledge.