Needed

Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 

1 Peter 5:7

We all long to feel wanted. 

A longing
And desire to be needed.
It is engineered into us.
..or at least in me.

Someone came to me today.
.. in desperation they shared deep hurt.
This person is coming from a place of fear
One put there by the only person who
Wants us to be pulled away from God.

I can't share the intimate details.. 

but it was bittersweet....

I should tell you I was shocked this person came to me.

I listened intently, but couldn't help but think,
Who am I?

I never thought God could use me in this way, for this person.

I not only grew today, but learned God uses us when we least expect.
And trust me
this was out of the blue.

But the more important matter is this person. ..
They needed me...
a listening ear,
a prayer,
a hug,
all of it
I gave them.

And what a wonderful fulfillment for me and hopefully them too. I can't speak for them though.

I do know they are coming back tomorrow for more prayer.
I'm elated.

Our relationship has already grown tenfold 

because we shared a spiritual moment with God together. 

We bonded more due to a need being fulfilled in a vulnerable moment..

And it made my mind start curiously wondering...
Is this a tad bit of what our relationship with God feels like?

We are hurt, beaten and alone.. 

and we come to Him in a different way than before.
A desperation of 'we can't do it alone'.

The comfort He gives creates a stronger bond 

and our link with him starts to build... 

And we find ourselves wanting more 

..yearning for a deeper relationship with the one who can share the light!

God wants to feel needed. 

He must be needed.

I know I love to be needed.
It is what fuels me.
I enjoy days like today.

Mother Teresa says to serve to the point of hurting.

And then sometimes honestly my exhaust comes quick.  

I've worked a long day, taught needy kids all day, made dinner, cleaned clothes, a

nd I'm called to do the dishes but I'm just done..

.I wish I could say I do it all, but I'm far from perfect.

Fortunately,
God never grows weary of doing it all for us,
listening
To us,
serving us,
giving to our every need and plea.

I strive to be More like Him.
It's a work in progress.
But I'm thankful He is using me in little ways for now.

All I know is I need Him..
More than anyone.
I am crazy about Him.
My life would be full of darkness,
Bumping into all sorts of walls.

Thank you God for being a God
Who longs to be
...needed.

Inner Strength

“You just proved to your body{ies}, through your mind, that you can push yourself further than you thought possible.”
-Lone Survivor

Someone once said, “You can do anything you set your mind to.”

I proved that to myself one year ago, when I ran my first marathon.

Literally, the hardest physically but mostly mentally,

Challenge I have ever persevered.

……

It seems a silly thing….

To believe this bold statement,

“anything you set your mind to”

….

Like a child believes in the tooth fairy.

I am no longer a child,

And found falsehood in this statement.

I debated it.

I loathed it.

I despised it…

……

Once upon a time,

I set out to join the military.

I ‘set my mind’ to achieving this goal.

My heart beat everyday with the yearning for servitude.

..to be draped in the colors of our country,

To sweat,

To bleed,

For our country.

To stand alongside the proud men and women.

My heart still pours out for this desire,

Every.

Single.

Day.

Though now it is safely tucked away,

But still in my heart.

Where hurt can no longer find it,

But every now and then cuts like a knife.

Where desire might have been lost,

But I know can still  be found.

And hope is somewhat small,

But carries a small glimmer

Like a small star in the dark, night sky.

I know it exists, just like the sun rises each morning.

It is a part of me,

Forever.

I know it is what fuels me.

I find strength in my runs.

I find that inner strength more than ever as I reach mile 14, 15, 16..

I set my mind to finishing the race.

24, 25, 26.

My body says no,

But my mind ignores it.

It listens instead,

To the beautiful voice of reason.

The one saying,

You can do this.

You can finish.

You are strong.

…

It is my inner strength.

It is God.

I know that is with God,

 I can run forever.

It is not my muscles doing all the work, but my heart and mind.

I do believe one’s mind can push your body to extremes.

I wish my mind could control the outcomes of my life,

But that is the falsehood that rings true.

Only God plans my life.

It is something so dear, so very precious,

 that is left to my God…

and this is where my mind gets confused with my heart. My heart tells me to trust God..

And I have to trust Him,

But my mind wants to keep pushing for my desires.

I try hard to let go of my bitter anger.

I tell myself time and time again He looks out for me,

But a little of the hurt lingers from my lost dream.

For now, I will thank Him for the inner strength

He gives me every day.

The strength that not only tells my mind, but tells my body I can finish the race.

How beautiful is endurance.

How beautiful is determination.

How beautiful is inner-strength.

How beautiful is love,

For that is what He has and always will,

love me.

                                                                                        

No Greater Love

I want to share with you an excerpt from No Greater Love, story from Mother Teresa...
~~~~~
One day I found a little girl in the street, so I took her to our children's home. We have a nice place and good food there. We gave her clean clothes and we made her as happy as we could.
After a few hours, the little girl ran away. I looked for her, but I couldn't find her anywhere. Then after a few days, I found her again. And, again, I brought her to our home and told a sister, "Sister, please, follow this child whereever she goes." The little girl ran away again. But the sister followed to find out where she was going and why she kept running away.
She followed the little girl and discovered that the little one's mother was living under a tree in the street. The mother had placed two stones there and did her cooking under that tree.
The sister sent word to me and I went there. I found joy on that little girl's face, because she was with her mother, who loved her and was making special food for her in that little open place.
I asked the little girl, "How is it that you would not stay with us? You had so many beautiful things in our home."
She answered, "I could not live without my mother. She loves me. "That little girl was happier to have the meager food her mother was cooking in the street than all the things I had given her.
While the child was with us, I could scarcely see a smile on her face. But when I found her there with her mother, in the street, they were smiling.
Why? Because they were family.
~~~~~~

Loving strangers can be easy, it is loving those closest to me that can be difficult. I believe, like Mother Teresa, we should start with love in the home.
This poor (literally not spiritually) mother loved her daughter so dearly that she would rather be with her, in the streets, that in a warm shelter with more food than she had ever seen.
Love goes a long way.
It is what this world is lacking.
Start with your children. Make it spread like wildflowers, then watch it grow, into a beautiful world full of love. It is the only way we can create change.
We Love, because HE first Loved us.
1 John 4:19
There is no greater love...

Gravity

Do you ever have that dream where you are falling, and right before you hit the ground you wake up? That feels like my life, but in reverse. I have already fallen, and I am being lifted back towards God, but right before I am back on the cliff something jolts and I start falling back towards Earth again.This is my nightmare.
I cannot seem to fully reach God. I want to be standing on the mountain next to Him, my arms stretched wide, saying I made it.
My problem is instead of allowing Him to lift me I try to start climbing this big mountain, called life, alone. It is the control problem I have. I just cannot give it up. Though He humbles me everytime. I get caught up in my abilities, not His, and gravity pulls me down.
Gravity is inevitable. Gravity keeps us from climbing the mountain. Can it be defied? Yes, but only with the power and strength that is not possessed alone. I get it, finally.

I know i am not the only one. Some might think they can do it alone but when they reach the top of their mountain there will be not anyone welcoming them home. They will realize they were climbing the wrong mountain all along. Some might just give up and choose to sit in the valley. Some might not even understand gravity, or even know it exists. Can they see their is a huge mountain to climb? Will they wonder of the beauty on the other side of the mountain? Will they see hope, faith, and trust there is more?If only they knew how beautiful the view is from the top. It is what I fear. I want to tell them that gravity can be defied. That life is absolutely beautiful from the Top. I want them to see what I see. To understand life beyond this valley. I want them to be Born Again.


Matthew 28:19 Go then and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

It's Simple.

 

Love this.

Do not chase people.

Work hard, live life, and be you.

The right people who belong in your life will come, 

find you

and stay.

Do your thing.

Don't live in fear of being 100% you.

That is all I can do.

Be me

and smile,

unapologetically.

You Could Be Happy.

I was listening intently...

"Your value should not be determined by how someone else has treated you."

I take it to heart.

To not allow the words or actions of others toward me to sway my position.

God gives me control.

He allows me to be happy.

He also allows me to enter into trials, bad situations, circumstances

that seem never ending.

It is a test.

How will I react?

Will I feel sorry for myself?

Will I shut myself off from the world?

Will I become non-emotional?

Others may tell me..

"You should be offended."

"Doesn't that make you mad?"

"You deserve to be angry with them."

They may say I am naive.

Perhaps I am too positive.

Even comment on how I let people run over me.

....

It is not true.

Because I fully understand one thing.

It is my choice.

Happiness.

So I stand firm.

I let go of pride.

I hold my position in the light.

I will choose to be happy.

.....

And I want each one of you to understand you have a choice...

You could be happy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Matthew 5:8

St. Thomas {Part 3} An Ocean Sunrise.

Just about every morning I would wake up and head down to the beach to catch the sunrise before my run.

Before I took off running, I would spend a little quiet time,

just God and me,

by the ocean.

Next to spending time with the kids, watching the sun rise over the ocean was my

favorite moment of each day.

I would sit there, soaking in the beauty that surrounded me.

I could hear nothing but the crashing of the waves,

and the melody filled my soul.

The sunbeams pierced through the clouds as it crept over the ocean.

It was better than any dream.

I don't know if I have ever felt closer to God.

All of creation surrounded me, and I took it in.

I let it consume me.

Then I took off running, letting all my worries pound out through my feet

as they hit the ground.

An enormous amount of joy flowed through me,

and I smiled.

I never want to live one day taking for granted 

the breath God gives me to live,

the eyes to see His beauty,

and the heart to feel how beautiful life is.

I cannot even fathom what Heaven will be,

but to know it is a million times better than an ocean sunrise,

overwhelms me.

Life is beautiful.

St. Thomas, USVI {Part 1} Going Home.

My mission trip to St. Thomas was amazing!

I promise to post as many pictures of my trip throughout the week.

I just have to share our little adventure leaving the Island.
I am going backwards, by starting my story from the ending..

After a week in St. Thomas, I was NOT ready to leave.

We get to the airport Thursday, only to discover our plane would be delayed.

Unfortunately, that meant we might miss our connecting flight from Florida to Dallas.

Even though I felt as if I was leaving a part of my heart in St. Thomas,

I was ready to share all the wonderful moments of the trip with family and friends back home.

We arrive in Florida, and it had happened. Our plane to Dallas had left.

I was devastated.

If I was not going to be in St. Thomas, I would rather be on Texas soil,

not at the airport playing the waiting game.

But I was not going to let this mishap still my Joy!

I would not allow it to capture my precious memories I had just made

at one of the most beautiful places on earth.

I pulled a smile out from underneath it all.

However, deep down inside, I longed for home.

And the place I felt calling my name.

Sitting at the airport all day Friday, I had time to think.

I knew there was a reason for being there...

It is funny how being stuck in an airport is like being stuck on Earth.

You constantly have this strong inner desire to just be Home.

And you are taken on all sorts of detours before you finally reach your destination.

I felt an emotional attachment to St. Thomas.

 I truly left a piece of my heart there.

At the same time, I knew awaiting me at home was a glorious reunion with my family and friends,

where my heart would be full once again.
I also knew there was a possibility in our next connecting flight in Charlotte, NC there was a chance of delay.
I did not know if I could take it again. I prayed hard.
The journey was rough, but we finally made it late Friday night.
What was so glorious upon arrival?
I appreciated home that much more!
So sometimes the craziness is worth waiting for the incredible ending.

I know where ever God places me, is where I am suppose to be.

I will be content anywhere..
I will make it a beautiful life

while I wait.
Although,

I cannot help but long for my home in the sky.

You Raise Me Up.

I haven't written about my running in a while and thought I might do so.

If you would like to read my two favorite posts on what I gain from my runs, 

you can read them here and here. ...or click here for all my posts on running.

.....

Running is an outlet for me.

As my feet hit the pavement, my soul awakens.

I feel closer to God more than ever.

.....

I went for a run yesterday afternoon, boy was it hot.

Not July hot, but hot enough to break a sweat in the first mile.

I've been living the life of luxury going to the gym, having a nice air conditioner cool me down.

....

I have days when it feels like I have ran a marathon...in the first half mile.

Yesterday, was one of them.

My legs felt as if they weighed a ton, each,

but I kept on.

....

It is always a struggle at first, acclimating myself to the Texas heat.

It rolls around this time every year, I digress.. because I never know how long it will stay, sometimes deep into October.

I've gotten better over the years, learning that running a few days a week outside for the first couple of weeks of summer, will make me stronger and the acclimation a slow progression, as I like it.

....

It isn't always that way.

....

Some days like yesterday, hit hard, the sun beating down on me like a thousand fires,

depriving me of my fuel which feeds my legs.

I try to endure the sun,

or sometimes run to any shade I can find on the oil top roads.

It is usually accompanied by a small prayer, requesting a breeze or a cloud.

....

I was three miles in yesterday, and dreading the last one.

I was listening to my music and it came on,

I hope you have heard it.

"You Raise Me Up" Josh Groban.

If you haven't, please listen to this wonderful melody.

It is very thought provoking.

.....

...You Raise Me Up,

So I can stand on mountains,

You Raise Me Up,

to walk on stormy seas,

I am strong,

when I am on your shoulders,

You Raise Me Up,

to more than I can be.

.....

It sends chills down my arms every time.

....

Listening to the words, and not paying attention to my feet did me much good.

My head was in the clouds.

If felt as if He rose me up..and

each stride felt like I was flying.

I must have picked up the pace, for

I looked at my watch and realized it was the fastest mile of the day.

.....

Now back to the Sun, 

I believe God can and will provide the shade we need in life.

Or He might send a light breeze to cool us down.

If there seems none to be found, perhaps He knows we can survive the heat.

Or He sees it as a time of acclimation.

Exposing us to the heat,

so that we can be better equipped for the next run...

Romans 5:3-4

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 

and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,..

When A Seed Grows.

 My wise niece once said to me.."Auntie Aeron, you know why it is so windy in the spring?"..

"Why Emma?"...I ask.

"The wind blows the seeds and that makes the flowers grow!"

It made me realize the windy weather is important...in our own lives.

The wind God allows to blow us about in tough times indeed makes us grow.

It pushes us down to the Earth, 

on our knees we fall,

the seeds of tears seeping into the ground.

But when the seeds are properly nourished,

and we allow the sun to shine down on us..

We emerge,

from the dirt.

We blossom,

and grow into something beautiful,

a flower.

It just took a little bit of wind.

And not all flowers are alike,

we have daffodils, sunflowers, lilies, and roses.

All with their own unique beauty..

And all made beautiful in the image of God.

Matthew 13:8

Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop- a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

Spring Has Sprung!

I love spring.

And it has sprung!

This weekend it was absolutely gorgeous!

My sister and me got out Saturday and took some pictures, as you see below.

 

I love how God gives us different seasons.

He gives us change, in just the way we like it.

Every year it is the same...but different.

He gave us, summer, winter, fall, and spring!

Spring is definitely my favorite, winter the least..but to each it's own.

Winter only makes me appreciate spring that much more.

Some people might call it science, I call it God.

 

He also gives us different seasons in our life.

We have the tough winter season and the glorious spring times.

And I thank him for each season, knowing that each one is to my benefit..making me grow,

like the flowers in springtime!

 

 



 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-22

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;