Needed

Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 

1 Peter 5:7

We all long to feel wanted. 

A longing
And desire to be needed.
It is engineered into us.
..or at least in me.

Someone came to me today.
.. in desperation they shared deep hurt.
This person is coming from a place of fear
One put there by the only person who
Wants us to be pulled away from God.

I can't share the intimate details.. 

but it was bittersweet....

I should tell you I was shocked this person came to me.

I listened intently, but couldn't help but think,
Who am I?

I never thought God could use me in this way, for this person.

I not only grew today, but learned God uses us when we least expect.
And trust me
this was out of the blue.

But the more important matter is this person. ..
They needed me...
a listening ear,
a prayer,
a hug,
all of it
I gave them.

And what a wonderful fulfillment for me and hopefully them too. I can't speak for them though.

I do know they are coming back tomorrow for more prayer.
I'm elated.

Our relationship has already grown tenfold 

because we shared a spiritual moment with God together. 

We bonded more due to a need being fulfilled in a vulnerable moment..

And it made my mind start curiously wondering...
Is this a tad bit of what our relationship with God feels like?

We are hurt, beaten and alone.. 

and we come to Him in a different way than before.
A desperation of 'we can't do it alone'.

The comfort He gives creates a stronger bond 

and our link with him starts to build... 

And we find ourselves wanting more 

..yearning for a deeper relationship with the one who can share the light!

God wants to feel needed. 

He must be needed.

I know I love to be needed.
It is what fuels me.
I enjoy days like today.

Mother Teresa says to serve to the point of hurting.

And then sometimes honestly my exhaust comes quick.  

I've worked a long day, taught needy kids all day, made dinner, cleaned clothes, a

nd I'm called to do the dishes but I'm just done..

.I wish I could say I do it all, but I'm far from perfect.

Fortunately,
God never grows weary of doing it all for us,
listening
To us,
serving us,
giving to our every need and plea.

I strive to be More like Him.
It's a work in progress.
But I'm thankful He is using me in little ways for now.

All I know is I need Him..
More than anyone.
I am crazy about Him.
My life would be full of darkness,
Bumping into all sorts of walls.

Thank you God for being a God
Who longs to be
...needed.

St. Thomas {Part 2} How it Feels to be Held.

My heart is so full just thinking of all the bright faces below that touched my soul.

Our group held a Vacation Bible School on the Island. We were

blessed to have about 50 kids attend!

Those kids are also some of the happiest kids I have ever met!

I have many amazing stories to tell, but this one I am about to share is a moment

that will stay with me forever.

One of the girls in my class, Le'dejah was joyfully singing along with all the other kids

and unfortunately it got a little rough.....

The sweet girl bumped her ahead, hard, against another girl's.

Instantly, tears filled her big eyes, and before I knew it

her petite arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

Like the instinct of a mother, I embraced her gently, cradling her head.

She pulled her small frame up into my lap and I all I could was hug her ever so close.

I thought of my nieces in that instant, how in times of pain all they need is to be comforted.

...so I did.

I moved to a pew away from my class.

As I sat there, rocking her back and forth, I rubbed her back.

After a moment, she glanced up at me, tears still streaming down.

I wiped them away, hoping to wipe away her pain.

I asked her if she wanted to join the other girls, but Le'dejah refused and leaned her head

back down on my chest.

A few minutes went by, and I had to get up to announce some of the kids from the class.

Instead of asking, I tell her softly, "Le'dejah, you have to go sit back down."

Then her reply stops me in my tracks, "No", as she squeezes tighter.."No one ever holds me."

Every fiber in my body wanted to never let go.

I felt an instant connection between her heart and mine.

The sound of her words pulled and stretched at my heart, and it grew.

I was holding her, but she was also holding me, 

..and holding my heart.

She showed me what it felt like to be held.

Le'dejah will always hold a special place in my heart.

I also think of the relationship between God and us.

There are moments when we hurt and all we want

is to be held...

to be loved...

I realized it didn't matter if they remembered all the bible stories or memory verses we taught.

But the love we showed them in those few days 

is what would make an impression on their very souls!

And through our love, they would see God.

I am forever changed by the experience.

This is Le'dejah, doing her victory dance.

Instant friendship between 3 of my girls and me on the first day.

Two of my sweet boys, Cle'jae and King David.

Jherisa, full of such joy and happiness, look at that smile!

My boys.

My girls.

A moment to freeze-frame time.

Another sweet smile from Le'dejah.

My buddy.

Singing songs with these precious kiddos.

A room full of sweet souls.

My class, the kids I will never forget..

forever belonging 

in my cherished, unforgettable memories.