Letting Go

I am a perfectionist.

It is my least favorite attribute.

It deters me from living.

Living fully.

I want my life to be perfect.

I have to plan it all out.

I have to be in full control.

What comes with wanting perfect is losing.

Losing myself.

I spend so much time worrying.

About how not perfect life is.

I lose it all together.

I carry this burden.

A burden to solve problems.

A burden to want others to desire God as much as I do.

I dream about it everyday.

About a perfect world.

One where everyone is happy.

Everything is rainbows and butterflies.

Then I wake up.

In an imperfect world.

Full of imperfect beings.

The burden lies there.

Pulling at every muscle in my body.

Weighing me down.

 Until I stand it no longer.

I fall to the ground.

Then it happens.

I am right where I should be.

On my knees.

Praying.

My strength builds.

I stand back up.

My world is still there.

Not perfect.

But I smile anyway.

I let it go.

Because I let Him in.